


No, I swear, we’re divorced

by BlueBioluminescence



Series: Earth-65 Matt/Foggy Stories [4]
Category: Daredevil (Comics), Spider-Gwen (Comics), Spider-Man: Into the Spider-Verse (2018)
Genre: And their secret friendship, DA Foggy Nelson, Fake Divorce AU, M/M, Matt Murderdock - Freeform
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-08-28
Updated: 2020-08-28
Packaged: 2021-03-06 15:01:06
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,889
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26160790
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/BlueBioluminescence/pseuds/BlueBioluminescence
Summary: The answer to the question ‘what would be a good reason to not want to fake becoming best-friends with my already secret-best-friend' is probably, most definitely, not “we’re divorced”In which DA Foggy Nelson lies and tells the Spiders that him and Matt are Divorced and they try to do something about that.
Relationships: Matt Murdock & Franklin "Foggy" Nelson, Matt Murdock/Franklin "Foggy" Nelson
Series: Earth-65 Matt/Foggy Stories [4]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1828735
Comments: 27
Kudos: 113





	No, I swear, we’re divorced

**Author's Note:**

> I honestly just wanted a fake divorce fic so...ya

###  No, I swear, we’re divorced

DA Foggy Nelson is the kind of man who doesn’t expect much from his day to day life. He expects a drinkable cup of coffee and a headache and leaves the rest up to chance. After all, with the job he’s got he can never be certain if he’s going to be spending the day bringing charges against people for petty theft or charges against the last supervillain that’s been deposited at the police's doorstep.

Which is why he kind of just goes with it when his office is invaded with four spider-people sticking to his walls.

“I’m sorry. You want me to what?” He asks very calmly because he didn’t become DA for nothing and he is actually pretty damn good at hiding his panic.

“We want you to become Matt Murdock’s friend.” Spider-woman says again and Foggy tries to focus on her, he does, but there is also a robot in his office so…

“-and so if you become his friend he might start turning good.” She concludes and Foggy’s pretty sure he caught even less of the explanation this time around but it hardly seems to matter because the gist of it is that they want him to become Matt’s friend.

They are asking Foggy Nelson to become friends with Matt Murdock. 

They are asking  _ DA _ Foggy Nelson to become friends with the Kingpin of New York.

And that alone is a very good reason he could have given them to say no, because it really would be career suicide for him, but he maybe panics a little too much and his idiot brain thinks ‘what would be a good reason to not want to fake becoming best-friends with his already secret-best-friend’ and blurts “we’re divorced” which…

Is certainly a thing.

\-----------

The big spider guy seems to take this news the hardest which is...great. Really. No, really, it’s fine. 

It’s not like he had work that he needed to get done today anyway. 

Foggy orders them all a pizza and studiously zones out as the guy starts to talk. Mostly he zones out by thinking about his caseload and just how much time he is losing. Sometimes he zones out wondering if Matt is close by enough to hear any of this and is laughing his ass off over it.

If that is the case then at least  _ one _ of them would be getting a kick out of Foggy’s predicament. 

“And I  _ know _ how hard divorce can be. How it can feel like how a black hole has just come and swallowed everything good in your life-” The Big Spider is going on and on, stuffing pizza into his mouth as he goes. He hadn’t hesitated with taking off his mask but Foggy had no idea who the man was so he figured that was why. The other spider-people are sitting on his floor around them, all in various states of mask-off-ed-ness, nodding sympathetically because this has apparently turned into some kind of therapy session and he’s not sure what he is going to do if the big guy starts  _ crying _ -

And then Spider-women cuts in which saves him for a moment which saves him for maybe five seconds before she asks, “Why did you divorce him in the first place?”

And Foggy is usually good at thinking things up on the fly when it comes to legal arguments and courtrooms but this is neither of those things and his brain has maybe been focusing on his more recent case rather then what the Divorced-Spider was going on about through bites of pizza and end up saying “He’s blind” which, 1) wow that probably made him sound like a dick and 2) he said that way to casually and board which probably just made it worse and 3) he needed to fix it fast. “By which I mean-” he starts and then stumbles because,  _ fuck _ do these people know about Matt’s powers? Would they be more violent towards him if they  _ did _ ? Because Foggy has seen some of the injuries Matt comes home with and he has set one too many broken bones which-

He chokes on his own spit and coughs and looks away from the four sets of eyes staring at him and he is very grateful that he at least can’t see the expressions of two of those masks because he is sure they are  _ something _ going by the other two spiders' looks. “What I mean is that our uh...lifestyle didn’t really fit well together?” He offers up hesitantly, desperately indicating to his office which is, quite frankly, a mess. “It um...it became an issue.” Which wasn’t actually a  _ lie _ per-say. Matt had hated rooming with him those first few months together at Colombia until they managed to sort things out. Until then though Foggy had had way too many dirty clothes thrown at his head before he got the point. 

“Couldn’t you have just...gotten more organized?” The kid in the black and red spider costume asked, his head tilting just a bit. He was going to call him Tiny-Spider because, compared to the Big-Spider crying about his apparent failed marriage at his side, he was tiny. 

“I, um, tried.” He offered, trying to think about what he had learned about divorce from his one class on family law which was honestly way too long ago. He wasn’t a divorce lawyer, he didn’t actually know what made up a believable divorce story, and saying that they had broken up on good terms seemed like it would probably be counter productive since they might still try to convince him to become friends with Matt. “But it didn’t...work. We got into a lot of fights it-” and he thinks that he could paint this as domestic abuse. That there was violence or something but then he thinks about how damned protective of him Matt is and how careful he is about everything involving Foggy and quickly squashes that thought. Matt might not be a good guy but he’s a damned good best friend. He can’t bring himself to do that to Matt. 

He swallows. 

“You know what they say. ‘The straw that broke the camel's back’ and all of that.” He shrugs, “It was a bunch of little things. We got married too young. Too fast.” and he’s back to thinking about Colombia because really, there three years deciding to be roommates together probably counted as a marriage of sorts. “Honestly we hardly knew each other and then by the time we did it was a little too late and our only option was the divorce.” he finished and, there. That sounded believable right?

But all the spider people were studying him silently now. Giving him contemplative looks which was bad, but it was made much worse when they started talking. 

“So there had to have been something there at the start then. Some kind of spark.” The girl with the robo-spider says. She's the only other one not in a mask besides Crying Divorced Spider. 

“I’m not convinced that means Murderdock ever had any good in him, but I already agreed to go through with this, so.” Spider-woman waves her hand and Foggy is really glad she opted not to have pizza with the rest of them because he is pretty sure he knows that voice and seeing even half of her lower face might be too much evidence for him to ignore.

“It’s almost bittersweet really when you think about it.” The Tiny-Spider offers, chewing a bite of pizza thoughtfully. Foggy wonders if he goes by black widow or something, given the costume colors. “I bet if the Matt here was a little more flexible-” 

“Now hold on a second-” Foggy tries to cut in but it was no use. The Spider-people were talking among themselves now in the middle of his office floor and their group-therapy session had turned into a group-planning session with bonus Pizza. Foggy sighs dejectedly and watches them for a moment longer, making sure no one was paying attention to him before picking up his phone and texting a number that was just labeled with a little devil face and saying ‘ _ we have a spider problem’.  _

\------------

The spider people leave eventually which Foggy is thankful for because about ten minutes later Matt shows up.

Foggy explains the situation to Matt, fully and completely, and waits for a good five minutes as Matt laughs himself breathless.

“I really don’t think it’s that Funny Matt.” Foggy grumbles once Matt has managed to pull himself at least a little bit back together.

“Oh. No. That is where you are wrong. This is  _ hilarious.”  _ He grins, wide and terrifying.

“Oh god.” Foggy breathes, because he knows that look, “What are you planning Murdock?” Foggy asks because it’s obvious that Matt is planning something but Matt just pats the hand Foggy has resting on his desk and says:

“Don’t you worry  _ sweetheart _ . I’ll handle everything.”

Which is...great.

————

Foggy tries really hard not to think about it, and succeeds for only a few hours before he is disturbed by a knock on his door at 9 pm. He stares at his clock, willing away his visitor, before the knock comes again and he sighs, reluctantly getting up. 

He looks through the peephole just in case, because there are a lot of people that want him dead, and he is met with the distorted image of Matt. Usually the only thing of note in this situation would be Matt bothering with his door and not simply breaking in through his window, but given his Spider problem earlier he is thinking this is a very very bad sign. 

He answers the door and Matt is smiling like a shark. 

He is also carrying two-dozen red roses. 

“Hey Foggy.” He purrs and Foggy just stares Matt’s grin only widens in the silence. 

“Matt.” He finally offers, because the other option is slamming the door in his face and he thinks that might be a bit of a dick move. Not because Matt would mind having a door slammed on him, but that he would be pissed with being left to deal with a dozen roses. “You have roses.” Foggy offers after another long pause. 

“Yes.” Matt agrees. Holding them forward. “They are for you.”

“Uh-hu…” Foggy says carefully and glances over the roses and over Matt’s shoulders to see if there are any spiders following along. He doesn’t see anyone and after a thought he looks up instead and, yep. There he is. 

The Tiny-Spider, waves. 

Foggy sighs and takes the flowers. 

“I’m only inviting you in for a second to make a point.” He grumbles as he leaves the door open for Matt to follow after. He makes a point of going straight to his window. Opening it up, and tossing all of the flowers out. They hit the alley fire stories down with a soft ‘thwump’. “And just in case you didn't figure out what that sound was Matt, I just tossed your roses out my window.”

When he turns back Matt looks  _ ecstatic  _ at this development. 

The spider people that he can now see eavesdropping from his fire escape are less so. 

Foggy thinks this is going to be a very long week. 


End file.
